No more questions...

I was all set to blog about the boys' swimming lessons this summer, but I only have one thing on my heart tonight. A baby boy named Kyle in Cincinnati, who is not doing well after heart surgery this week. I went to high school with his mom. We haven't talked much since graduating (ahem, 18 years ago), but you moms know what I mean when I say that the mom connection is still there. We've messaged a few times over facebook since she shared about his condition, but I've prayed for him many, many more times than that.

Reality checks are a good thing. I have a lot to be thankful for. But emotions can easily get thrown in the mix, and I find myself asking the hard questions. Ones like, "Why him, and not one of my babies?", or "Why does a five month old have to endure so much in his little life already?".

I can't stay there for long, though, because I know that there is so much more going on than I can see. God has his hand in the smallest details of our lives, orchestrating those details in such a way that will bring Him much glory. I won't know all of the answers in this life, but this world is not my home. One day, I'll see Jesus, and everything else will fade away.

Every mom has stressful days. Even stressful years. Sometimes we can just plain lose perspective. But today, I rocked my fussy baby a little longer than normal, and thanked God that He chose me to be her momma, high maintenance and all. I prayed for baby Kyle as I held her tight, and prayed that I'd serve my children more, and complain a little less.

God doesn't give us all the same load, but he calls us to be faithful to the load He's given us.

We've been talking a lot about heaven around this house lately. The boys are trying to wrap their little minds around the thought of it. One morning before school, the discussion came up as we were finishing up breakfast. Jack asked what Jesus will look like. Trey said he wanted to dance with Grandma Great under the big disco ball (oh dear, only Trey...). And Chase wondered what he would do when he saw Jesus. "Mom, I don't think I'll even be able to stand up when I see Him."

I used to long for heaven so I could whip out my list of unanswered questions, in an effort to finally understand what I had trouble making sense of for so long. But I think I had it all wrong. You see, the older I get, I find that I don't need all of the answers. That would make it all about me, now wouldn't it?

I just need to worship.

I hope that when I get to heaven, I'm too busy worshipping to even be thinking about the questions. Because it's all about Him.

Turn your eyes upon Jesus.

Look full in His wonderful face.

And the things of earth will grow strangely dim,

in the light of His glory and grace.

"I think you're right, Chase. I don't think I'll even be able to stand up when I see Him."

God doesn't give us all the same load, but he calls us to be faithful to the load He's given us.

"The one who calls you is faithful and He will do it."

1 Thess. 5:24