All Dressed Up...

We don't celebrate Halloween. Or do we? Chase asked what there is to celebrate, and Trey told him that we celebrate getting candy. Sounds good to me.

And you need to know that there is a slight obsession with dressing up in our house. Not just on Halloween, but practically every day of the year. Our dress up bins are filled to the brim, and we like it that way. When Tess was born, the boys were so glad that she was a girl so they could finally add Tinkerbell to their cast. It's serious stuff when you play Peter Pan and there is no Tink. This boy needs to be an actor. Or maybe a youth pastor. I would like that. Or a car salesman. Something that puts all of that drama to work... I love this picture. Doesn't it look like it's out of a Pottery Barn magazine or something? Except for the fact that we pulled two outfits - already owned for quite some time - straight out of our dress up bin, and not purchased online for some insane amount of money. Pottery Barn magazines are not all bad, though. I'm getting quite skilled at flipping through them and getting all kinds of sweet ideas, only to replicate them at the clearance end-caps at Target. I'll have you know that my handsome husband chose to wear that puffer vest completely on his own tonight. See, I am rubbing off on him. :)

She really did have a good time... completely content to ride in the stroller and watch the boys go from house to house. She and I ended up heading back a bit early to the house to greet some of our own Trick-or-Treaters. The highlight of the night: when she spontaneously embraced Spiderman (another two year old, who was a complete stranger) for like two minutes straight. Counting the loot! Tyler is proud of our cute little tradition that he started: each kid writes in Sharpie on their plastic pumpkin their candy total for the year. So it looks something like this:

Jack - 2010 - 100 pieces.

Official totals for this year... Jack - 100, Trey - 101, Chase - 105, Tess - 2

I'd say in some small, happy way, that's reason to celebrate. :)

V-i-c-t-o-r-y

Yes, I am training my two year old "mommy" to capture precious moments... on the potty. It's a normal practice around here. You know you do it too. After all those years of changing diapers, you take pictures of your kids learning to use the potty. Not just because it's cute (even though it is). But because it spells V-i-c-t-o-r-y. And since there are so many days when we as moms feel less than victorious, we'll capture anything and everything that slightly resembles success. She's been potty trained since August, and it still feels surreal when I look at her cute little bottom in those pink Hello Kitty undies. Partly because she's wearing undies and not a diaper, and partly because they're Hello Kitty and not Spiderman. All that fiery determination of a personality has to be good for something. When she asked me to go potty, I drug my feet, knowing that starting too early can turn into one big headache. When she realized that I wasn't going to be any help, she started asking her brothers take her. Since they never tell her no for anything, the dreaded potty training began.

Four kids are a lot of work, but these older boys are starting to earn their keep. Chalk one up for the school boys who passed Tess's first of many hours on the potty by sitting and reading to her. I still owe them. But I mostly credit one determined little girl, who now is dressing and undressing herself multiple times a day. I had no idea that started this early. Lord help me.

If you're new to this potty training thing, I'll have you know that there are no magic secrets or hard and fast formulas that work for everyone. Even if you saw it on Dr. Phil, it might not work for you. My earliest was trained right at 2, and a certain boy was definitely three before we could leave the house in undies safely. Every kid is different. But, certain things have worked for us. They may not work for you, but if you're desperate, you'll try anything, so I'll go ahead and share. :)

Here are my top five "what's worked for us" in potty training (I'm so loosing half of my readers right now... bear with me for the sanity of parents of toddlers everywhere!):

1. Don't start until your child shows signs that he is ready. It is tempting to start at a certain age, or when the peer pressure builds because every other mom in your child's class at church starts, but don't do it. You will definitely see signs to let you know that your unique child is ready to give it a go.

2. When you do start, commit to it. Don't start and then stop two days into it. I promise that this will confuse your child. Be consistent, be attentive, and just do it! Training is just that... training. Training takes time and practice, and won't be over in your timeframe (sadly). That being said, if you mess up #1, there's no shame in stopping, and starting again when the time is right.

3. Don't leave your house. I have found that starting on a week when I can stay home for several days straight produces the best results. With a busy schedule and changes in location, it is very difficult for a child to get into a potty routine. Don't add more expectations and stress to an already stressful situation. Oh, and don't plan on answering the phone that week! :)

4. Don't use Pull-Ups during awake hours. I may get some disagreements on this one, but for my kids, it was one more thing to confuse them. We used undies from the start, even when going out, so they could distinguish the need to stay dry. Now naps and overnight, on the other hand, totally acceptable in my book...

5. My favorite potty training secret? Let them go naked at home. You may slightly embarrass the Schwann Man and the Fed Ex guy, but trust me, they'll live to tell someone about it. For obvious reasons, my kids were way more aware of their need to go potty when they were exposed. Many ask if I cleaned up accident after accident using this method, and the answer is surprisingly no.

That is, of course, when I strictly adhered to points 1, 2 and 3.

And by the way, you have my permission to take a picture of that too. It may remind you of sweet victory, or it may come in real handy for their high school graduation open house...

Nine weeks down...

...and I'm out twelve bucks for all A's for these two school boys. They don't get an allowance or money for chores, but for lost teeth and all A's on their report cards...

...you bet yer bottom dollar.

Oh, and don't forget the occasional slip of a dollar bill from Aunt Steph for apparently no reason at all. I tell her to save her money for her own kids, but she never listens. She makes me look bad.

And yes, if you must know, I cried at both conferences. I'm really not this unstable. I am just overwhelmed at the goodness of God. I'm amazed that even when a boy is silly and social and forgets to bring his homework home from time to time, he can still sit still long enough to open his mind and earn all A's. And I'm passionate about a boy who had some social bumps in the road last year, who has worked his tail off and has trusted God daily to help him become respectful, humble and full of integrity in the classroom.

And then I lost it when Trey's teacher told me about her son who died in a car accident when he was 15. She reminisced about her boy for a moment, and I grabbed her hand and we both had a good cry. And then I decided not to get on Trey so much for forgetting his homework a couple of times.

Conferences are only fifteen minutes a piece. How I packed this much emotion into 30 minutes I'll never know. But if you're a mom, you know. Well, as much as I know, anyway.

They captivate us. They get into our hearts and change us and challenge us. They make us proud and keep us humble. They remind us what it's like to have childlike faith, and then sometimes they have more faith than we do. They're honest to a fault, if there was such a thing.

I am a proud momma this week. Not because they brought home all A's. But because their teachers see a difference in them. How I pray that they see a difference in all of us. Our mission this school year? To be a family who stands out for Christ. Not to be perfect, because that'll never happen, but to care about the things that really matter.

Loving God and loving people. It never gets old.

Cousins!

Two of our nephews spent the night last Friday night. Trey and Ben were preparing to head to Florida for the week with Grandpa and Grandma Fincher. Dalen and Jack had been talking about a sleepover forever. So, five sweet boys played like best buddies all night, and giggled themselves to sleep all in the same room. I love it that they're getting older - all about the same ages - and can make awesome memories together.

So this weekend, we're doing it all over again! Teresa and Stephanie's families roll in tomorrow night, along with GrandDad and Grandma Cain (and their new RV!). We're planning to freeze our tushies off, otherwise known as tent camping at Prophetstown. Actually, the boys and the daddies are planning on freezing, while the moms and little ones hold down the fort back at the house overnight. We'll all meet up during the day to hang out at the campsite, and explore Prophetstown a bit. We may even hit a Pumpkin Patch if we ever decide to get motivated. One thing's for sure, we plan to eat and laugh a lot!

It's Fall, ya'll!

Nothin' like a day at the farm to start the Fall season off right! Jim and Mardi Lehe recently hosted our little playgroup from church and treated us to a fun morning filled with animals, fresh country air, a hayride, and a picnic lunch under a shade tree. It was a dreamy Fall day for sure...

Ah, one day she'll be able to button a coat over her big belly. Maybe.

Aboard the hayride with good friends. (Why is it that my boy is constantly surrounded by girls?? Because he loves them so!!)

Tess and her sweet friend Gunnar.

You can tell Chase is the third kid. We opted to skip preschool this day so he could enjoy the farm with us. Oh my, Jack would have never missed a preschool day. It would have felt too much like, well, skipping (gasp!). Thank goodness for a third-kid perspective. Plus, who misses preschool when you've got the farm? :)

Sat so, so still on the hayride, taking it all in...

And I had to throw in our latest Fall food creation... a work treat for Tyler to ease the pain of working the weekend during such great Fall weather (or worse, working a weekend during football season!).

Loving Fall!

This kid...

... belted out a Natalie Grant song playing on K-Love today, word for word, and it might have been the sweetest thing I've ever heard.

Speaking of K-Love, he has a boy named Caleb in his Cubbies class at church, and every Wednesday night on our way out the door, he says to me, "Ca-wub is in my class Mom. His name is Ca-wub, not K-Love. You know that, right, Mom? You know, he's the boy, and not the radio??". Every Wednesday night, without fail.

That made me remember the time, a few months ago, when I caught him matter-of-factly rambling to himself in the van: "I.... don't like loud cars. I.... don't like driving. I... don't like people. I... don't like positive, encouraging K-Love".

I had his first Pre-K conference with his teachers this morning, and came out appreciating him in a whole new way. He's the middle kid at home, always trying his best to fit in with whomever will include him. At preschool, he's a four year old leader, everyone's friend, a girl chaser, smiley, expressive, smart guy, with his very own identity. He's not compared to anyone else. He's just Chase. And he's a teacher's dream come true.

Who knew?

I love that each of my kids has their very own personality. Strengths and weaknesses. Today I realized that in the busyness of the season (of the year, and in this season of my life), I've focused a lot on what each child needs, instead of who they are. Does that make sense?

So tonight, instead of keeping track of how much food was left on his supper plate...

I listened to him giggle while he told jokes to his big brothers in between bites.

I noticed that he calls his sister "Girl" way more than he calls her "Tess". It's an affectionate term, and he used it a lot while he played trains with her under the kitchen table while I cleared the supper dishes.

He fell three times in a row running through the house, bonking elbows and knees. He asked Trey to wrestle him probably four times after supper. He didn't cry any of those times.

He joined Jack, Trey and two neighbor boys in scooter races (on their bottoms!) down the driveway tonight. When he saw that the youngest friend was sad because he hadn't won yet, he purposely slowed down and let him beat him from then on.

He begged to read Joshua, our current nightly reading in the Bible. I'd skip many a night if it wasn't for his persistence.

Ends up he didn't finish his supper tonight. He got dessert anyway. I'm probably going to pay for that, but it just felt like the right thing to do...

The schedule is back...

September was nuts. In a good, get-back-into-a-schedule-kind-of-way, but nuts just the same. I just realized that I only blogged three times this month. Many exciting things happening, but for the same reason we don't videotape our kids as often as we should, instead of documenting, we are simply engaging ourselves in the moments. Both engaging and documenting are good at different times, I suppose. Anyway, seems the two year old currently would rather I engage myself fully in her, instead of documenting her. Fair enough. :)

Jack and Trey have started school off on a very successful note. I'm driving Chase to preschool four mornings a week: a big schedule commitment, but one that brings him a lot of joy. Tess is now going up and down the stairs with no gate. I'll miss that 12-year-old bright teal barrier handed down from a friend... what will we do now that we don't have to hike our leg over that ugly thing a million times a day?!

AWANA Kids Club has officially started up at church on Wednesday nights, and I couldn't be more thrilled with the boys' enthusiasm to memorize God's Word. What an amazing program. Who knew that learning scripture could make a kid so sweaty? :) While my TNT, Sparks, Cubbies, and Puggles club members are having the time of their lives, I'm upstairs in a ladies' bible study for the next eight weeks. My turn to teach was last night. While I stress ahead of time with the pressure that comes with presenting the Word, I'm beyond blessed every time I have the opportunity.

Tyler has picked up his golf game again, and golfed with our neighbor and seven other retired guys today. You have to tag along with the men who have no jobs when you have a weird schedule like Tyler's. I'm glad he's getting in some much-deserved hobby time after all of these stay-at-home infant years.

New this Fall... we'll be hosting a small group bible study in our home beginning next Monday night. After training last year in our church's Marriage Mentoring curriculum, we are excited to lead a group of premarital / newly married couples. We have led other groups in the past, but this population is a new one for us. We are passionate about marriage and can't wait to discuss practical marriage topics based on the wisdom from God's Word.

Trey is in his last three weeks of Fall baseball. I am enjoying watching this kid - now one of the older ones on his team - get into the game on a whole new level. He's been playing the infield consistently now: catching a lot, and has taken his turn on first and third base. Now if he would adhere to the "There's no crying in baseball" rule, we'd all feel like we're getting somewhere. There is not one activity that Trey doesn't jump in full force, emotions and all.

Why do I all of a sudden feel like I'm writing our annual Christmas letter? Just an early Fall update, y'all. Act surprised when you get the letter. Deal?

Life is busy, even when we feel like we've said no to lots of activities for the sake of our sanity. Four kids are busy. Good luck catching us after 4pm in the midst of homework, post-nap fussy toddlers, supper prep and six people all talking at once. Tyler and I laughed tonight about the time we clock each day just helping children in the potty. Some days I swear it feels like I live in the bathroom. It's a glamorous life I lead. :)

But there's joy in the moment. Joy in knowing that in everything we do, whether it's being involved in an organized ministry, or the daily, not-so-glamorous task of wiping bottoms, it's all for the glory of God.

Yep, I'm pretty sure God sees it all...

"So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God." 1 Cor. 10:31

Getting in our 20 minutes a day...

It's official, we're foodies...

foodie or foody (ˈfuːdɪ)
— n , pl -ies
	a person having an enthusiastic interest in the preparation and consumption of good food This definition cracks me up. It is so us. Especially the enthusiastic part. When Tyler and I retire, right after we catch up on years of lost sleep, we're watching countless hours of Food Network together (and we won't fall asleep doing it). We'll make notes and plans to replicate fabulous dishes. Then we'll grocery shop together (any time we want, instead of during the most ridiculous sleeping hours), leisurely browsing in aisles that have many breakable containers. We'll buy lots of strange ingredients that kids don't like. Then we'll come home, put on some romantic music (or Michael Jackson's Greatest Hits... either way), light some candles, and cook (together and uninterrupted) until our hearts are content. We'll consume everything before it gets cold (enthusiastically, mind you), and we'll only have to cut up our own food. And we might even stay at the table afterwards, you know, for a palate-cleansing dessert and a cup of coffee/tea over some stimulating adult conversation. We might even know a thing or two about politics by then. Sounds dreamy, doesn't it? Exactly. Until then, we're tiding ourselves over with some simple, but flavor-filled dishes, that even our kids will eat. Here's my latest favorite Fall chicken recipe. I'll title it Foil-wrapped Rosemary Chicken (catchy, huh? I just made that up right now...). It's quick, easy, and pretty much impossible to screw up. Just how I like it. Check this out: First, you must find a really cute preschool helper. The one that never wears a shirt is a keeper. Get him to wash the sand out of his fingernails, and get started.

Lay out large pieces of foil, big enough to wrap and seal in your seasoned chicken breast (Quick tip: we buy all our chicken at Sam's Club - they always beat the best sale price I can get anywhere else, and the breasts are twice the size of other places). Lay trimmed chicken breast on foil, and sprinkle with some olive oil. Season both sides with generous portions of kosher salt, fresh cracked pepper, and - our favorite spice of all time - Emeril's Original Essence (you can buy the spice pre-made on grocery store shelves, or check out the link to make it yourself). Top with whole sprigs of Rosemary. And if the foil has Tyler's name on it, add some Chipotle Pepper Flakes. Just how he likes it.

Fold down the foil around the chicken, making sure it is sealed tight (this will pay off when it traps in all of the yummy juices). Place foil-wrapped chicken in a baking dish, and bake at 350 degrees for an hour, or until done. The individual servings allow you to tailor the flavor to the likes of each dinner guest, and the juice that gets trapped in the foil will simply amaze you. So good.

I feel the need to fit in the descriptive word "fantastic" somewhere here, and if I add a YouTube clip of me tasting the finished product (and describing how succulent it tastes while I still have tons of food in my mouth), then - only then - could I be a real Food Network star.

Come to think of it, I'm pretty sure Giada can get away with talking with a mouth full of food way better than I can.

I think I'll keep my day job...

But really, you should try this.

What is your favorite fall recipe?

No more questions...

I was all set to blog about the boys' swimming lessons this summer, but I only have one thing on my heart tonight. A baby boy named Kyle in Cincinnati, who is not doing well after heart surgery this week. I went to high school with his mom. We haven't talked much since graduating (ahem, 18 years ago), but you moms know what I mean when I say that the mom connection is still there. We've messaged a few times over facebook since she shared about his condition, but I've prayed for him many, many more times than that.

Reality checks are a good thing. I have a lot to be thankful for. But emotions can easily get thrown in the mix, and I find myself asking the hard questions. Ones like, "Why him, and not one of my babies?", or "Why does a five month old have to endure so much in his little life already?".

I can't stay there for long, though, because I know that there is so much more going on than I can see. God has his hand in the smallest details of our lives, orchestrating those details in such a way that will bring Him much glory. I won't know all of the answers in this life, but this world is not my home. One day, I'll see Jesus, and everything else will fade away.

Every mom has stressful days. Even stressful years. Sometimes we can just plain lose perspective. But today, I rocked my fussy baby a little longer than normal, and thanked God that He chose me to be her momma, high maintenance and all. I prayed for baby Kyle as I held her tight, and prayed that I'd serve my children more, and complain a little less.

God doesn't give us all the same load, but he calls us to be faithful to the load He's given us.

We've been talking a lot about heaven around this house lately. The boys are trying to wrap their little minds around the thought of it. One morning before school, the discussion came up as we were finishing up breakfast. Jack asked what Jesus will look like. Trey said he wanted to dance with Grandma Great under the big disco ball (oh dear, only Trey...). And Chase wondered what he would do when he saw Jesus. "Mom, I don't think I'll even be able to stand up when I see Him."

I used to long for heaven so I could whip out my list of unanswered questions, in an effort to finally understand what I had trouble making sense of for so long. But I think I had it all wrong. You see, the older I get, I find that I don't need all of the answers. That would make it all about me, now wouldn't it?

I just need to worship.

I hope that when I get to heaven, I'm too busy worshipping to even be thinking about the questions. Because it's all about Him.

Turn your eyes upon Jesus.

Look full in His wonderful face.

And the things of earth will grow strangely dim,

in the light of His glory and grace.

"I think you're right, Chase. I don't think I'll even be able to stand up when I see Him."

God doesn't give us all the same load, but he calls us to be faithful to the load He's given us.

"The one who calls you is faithful and He will do it."

1 Thess. 5:24

The Fair, revisited!

If you've been a blog follower here for long, you know that we have this fair tradition. It sounds silly to call it a tradition, I know, but to little boys, it's a major event that they look forward to every summer. That qualifies, if you ask me. :)

My problem now is that my youngest is starting to ride rides. You know what this means, don't you? My excuse for not riding rides is almost out the window. Need someone to stay back with the baby in the stroller? You bet, I'll sacrifice for the family. Heh. Something tells me some boy is going to want me to ride the Scrambler next year, and I'll have no way of getting out of it.

If that's the case, I'm going to have to pass on the corn dog too. Hmm, I'm going to have to work this somehow. I do, however, simply adore watching other family members scream their lungs out, laugh somewhat nervously, and almost get sick riding every ride on the block. On family night, of course, when all rides are a buck. The macho stories after the fact are priceless.

Don't you worry, though, you can always count on me for that green slide. Once I'm past the touch-and-go steep stair climb with the toddler (after seriously backing up the line), I let loose and giggle all the way down that thing. And since Tyler messed up his tailbone on it once, it's all mine. Sweet. Jack Tyler entered his first ever Mini 4-H project this year. He chose to do a rock collection, complete with a photo album of him working on his project, and a chart describing collections that family members have started. I think we have a little 4-H'er on our hands. Or minimally, a newly-turned-nine year old boy that finds extreme satisfaction in collecting junk of all kinds.

Oh yeah, I can handle the carousel too (if I look straight ahead the whole time... surely this head turn was only momentary). I'm versatile that way. I'm sure you would have needed to be there, but this picture completely cracks me up. This little bus was the most mellow, slowest, safest, preschool ride in the whole place. Chase was so pumped up all night about riding everything, that - even on the bus - he had his hands up in the air, screaming his little head off the entire ride. Even the other preschoolers on the ride were looking at him like, "Dude, this is definitely not that kind of ride," but he didn't care. I love his enthusiasm!

So next year, here we come. I'm a momma who likes to remain relevant and at least slightly hip, and I have a feeling that riding fair rides somehow ranks in the grand scheme of things. Alright boys, at least I have a few months to mentally prepare myself. :)

Thirty-Six!

Happy Birthday today to the love of my life (and to one really good kisser!). We love you!!

Coming up...

This might be my favorite picture from this summer. It captures our daily life so well: hanging out after a busy night of VBS and baseball, glad to be together. If you want personal space, this family's not for you.

The boys started school last week, and I have lots of pictures to share. But before I do that, I have a few summer pics still worth mentioning. Stay tuned for our summer wrap-up, and get ready to hear about our perspective and purpose for this school year. I might even throw in my thoughts about our recent potty training adventure, and my new favorite recipe... if I decide to get extra crazy. :) See you soon!

Fall Baseball, comin' right up...

I just signed this cute little baseball player up for Fall baseball. I don't know what's cuter: the way he closes his eyes when he swings the bat, or his adorable bottom in those baseball pants.

He's not the best player on the team, but he's definitely coming along. At least now he's watching the ball instead of conversing with the crowd. He's onto the first "real" league, where you actually play a game with rules and all. Although there's a little more pressure, there's a lot more action too. Meaning that games aren't total torture / comical to watch. This momma could really get into a game, if only the two year old was just as interested.

We're looking forward to a much more laid back Fall ball schedule, which is only one practice and one game a week, as opposed to the four nights a week we juggled early in the summer. That's a good thing, because we'll have homework, you know. Oh, and the two year old.

The Boys Are Back in Town!

...and I've never been so happy to see this much laundry in my entire life. Things I missed while they were gone:

My minivan. Seriously, I never thought I'd say that.

My idea-givers for Chase. He has an imagination, but not nearly one the size of his older brothers.

My laundry sorters, dishwasher unloaders, and trash boys. :)

Our nightly Bible readings minus two very eager learners (they have a few chapters in Daniel to catch up on now).

Trey's sweet eyes and giggles.

Jack's insightful conversations and creativity.

The man that I married thirteen years ago this summer. He brings energy and entertainment to this house like only he can!

Their bags are unpacked and the laundry is slowly getting caught up. And I'm happy to report that Jack and Trey are great at entertaining a certain two year old who decided she wants to use the potty this week! They read, play and talk with her while she sits, and waits (I was upstairs putting laundry away earlier, and knowing that there's no time to wait, Trey even helped her to the potty himself!).

Ah, they're home, and I like it that way...

Missin' the boys...

These three are beyond excited to be on their first guy trip ever... a fishing trip to Wisconsin with my dad. Luckily Trey got the deodorant talk from his dad last week, just in time for a week of fish guts and a race to see who can go the most days without a shower. I'm back with the little ones who aren't quite ready to make the trip, and we've realized today (um, that would be day one) that our entertainment has left us for the week. I made the mistake of telling Chase that we would be doing some fun things of our own while the boys were gone, and he has taken that statement very literally. When I told him that it was time for lunch today, he said, "But I thought we were only doing fun things while the boys are in Wisconsin."

Yikes.

In other exciting news... after a run-in with the bathroom stall door at Chuck E. Cheese (don't ask... I knew I didn't like that place), I am spending my spouse-free time Googling images of broken fingers. My fun activity for the day was consoling a toddler and a preschooler in the smallest exam room ever while the doc stuck a needle - twice - through my black fingernail to try to relieve some pressure in my huge finger. I'm off for x-rays in the morning, but according to Chase, that sounds like a blast, so mark one up for his fun list.

Glad I could accommodate him.

A little blog fieldtrip....

I have to send you over to the Humphrey's blog today to check out pictures of Trey and Ian from their last playdate. It will bring a Tuesday morning smile to your face! Clearly, Ian tolerates Trey's craziness quite well. Thank goodness!

Thanking God today for the gift of laughter!

Tis the season...

... for weddings. And oh yes, new babies. Seriously, I must have 58 friends (or maybe just eight) who have had, or who are due to have babies this summer. While I am no longer eligible for that category, the whole thought still excites me. But maybe that's why it excites me, because I'm no longer in that category.

Anywho...

Bringing home a new baby is just about as exciting as it gets, but it's also a bit nerve-wrecking. Let's face it... your house temporarily goes into some serious upheaval. Or not so temporarily. It changes things. In wonderful new ways, and in challenging ways too.

So for my 58 friends (or just the eight of you) having babies, I came across this great article here. Your older children will not be warped forever, I promise. And if you're not one of these moms but you've been there, pick up the phone and encourage an expecting mom today.

And what category do I fall into now? Hmm...

I think they call this the maintenance phase. Yes, that sounds right. It's a long one, but a good one.

Loving God, and loving people...

(Chase, Ian, Ian's mom Angela, Tess, and Trey at a playdate at our house)

I think back to my last round of school conferences with the boys' teachers, and remember a resounding theme. Academics are important, I know. Tyler and I have a history of being very academically motivated people. Sure, I want them to work hard and to their full potential. But on that conference day, I wanted to hear the other side of the story when it came to my boys. More than academics, I wanted to know... are they demonstrating a love for God, and a love for people?

Now this looks different for each of my children. Just as each of them learns to read at a different pace, they also have their own gifts. One of the greatests joys for me as a parent is seeing God develop those gifts, so that they might love God and people well. Would I consider any one of my children successful if they never went to college and worked as a trash collector the rest of their lives? Absolutely, if they collected that trash with a passion and sold-out abandon for God, and for people.

This summer Trey is developing a deeper friendship with his buddy Ian. Ian came to our church from Jamaica through the miracle of adoption (if you want to be blessed, you can check out his family's story here). Ian has Cerebral Palsy, but I'm pretty sure most of the time Trey forgets that Ian can't walk or have conversation the way other kids do. They are a great match, and became fast friends when Ian first came to Trey's Sunday School Class.

There is a history with these two that's hard to describe; one that often brings me to tears. God is working in Trey's heart through Ian. Trey is overcome with love for this boy (and oh, is he SO easy to love!). I remember when Ian was first introduced to Trey's class at church. Trey came home and immediately wanted to buy a toy for him. He told me that it's fun for Ian to have a toy on his wheelchair tray during class, and he had all kinds of things in mind that he was sure Ian would like.

I have to admit that I got busy and forgot about Trey's request. Several requests and several weeks later, an emotional Trey came down from his bedroom one morning and dumped a pile of change and wadded up dollar bills onto my kitchen counter. With tears in his eyes he said, "Mom, I'll use all of my money, can we just please go buy Ian a toy today?" And we did just that. We had a date, just the two of us that evening, and Trey never thought twice about spending every cent that he had.

The best story about these two came about one middle-of-the-night when Trey woke up with a bad dream. He cried and cried and couldn't shake his fear. I reassured him that God was always with him, and that dreams sometimes confuse us with pictures of things that aren't real. We prayed. I asked him to replace his scary thoughts with something that was real and happy. So we talked about what he could think about that would make him feel better. I threw out things like ice cream, Legos, bike riding and baseball... all with no progress. We were getting nowhere.

And then it happened.

He said Ian's name.

Ian made him happy. His smile. His friendship. His contagious energy for life.

So we got on the computer and found their family blog, and scrolled through picture after picture of Ian. We talked about how God had taken care of Ian when he was in Jamaica, and about how God had a perfect plan for Ian's life - even before he was born. And at 3am, we talked about God's love for us, and how we can be adopted into His family.

Trey doesn't have it all figured out yet. Just the other day, he cried in my arms after a consequence and asked why, if Jesus is in his heart, he still does the things that he doesn't want to do.

Yeah, that's what I want to know too.

I told him that I have the same problem. But slowly, if we'll let Him, God is making us both to be more like Him.

Trey just spent the afternoon at Ian's house yesterday. He reported all kinds of fun, like playing cowboys, checking out the creek, and swinging with his friend. We're hoping Ian can come to our house next week. We'll get as many dates in as we can until school starts up. Trey and I have had great talks about ways he can serve Ian and be a good friend to him. But just like when you go on a mission trip with the best intentions of blessing others, you return only to realize...

you instead are the one being blessed.

After a playdate recently, we said our goodbyes to Ian and his mom down at their car, and headed up our driveway into the garage. Trey suddenly became unusually quiet, sat down on the garage floor and put his head down. When I asked him if something was wrong, he said, "Mom, I loved Ian before I ever even knew him." Somehow I don't think Trey messed up his words. I wonder if God, in all of His compassion and power, put that love in Trey's heart long before any of us ever even knew.

Loving God, and loving people. We hope to do lots more of that this summer.